Tag Archives: parenting

When Is Rape Okay

When Is Rape Okay

When Is Rape Okay

 

Yesterday I saw a post on Facebook. I went to the author’s website and found (just for clarification); that when these high school students were asked to answer the questions, it was on a rating scale 0-5. Zero equaled not agreeing at all, therefore symbolic of “NO”. Any rating over zero, would be counted as a “yes”. I just wanted that to be clear before I wrote this, although I don’t think that the number on the scale that each child chose, above zero matters. Allow me just this courtesy…RAPE IS WRONG.

 

This post had me thinking, past the lump I felt in my throat. I was disappointed in the fact that these young males felt this way; for any man to think it would ever be okay to force sex upon another.  What I found deeply disturbing was that any female would think this behavior was acceptable; why would we think that any situation would make this horrible and vile act appropriate?

 

Beyond talking to our children about the dangers of strangers; what do we teach them? Do we teach our sons that it is NEVER okay to force anyone to have sex? Or do we think that the logic is implied? At this point, we can effectively come to the conclusion that it is not. Where are our daughters getting their education from? Why would anyone of our young women think that she has no say over her body? Where is the self-respect and honor? Where would our sons develop the mentality that they EVER have the right to force sex on another person?

 

This posting had my heart feeling heavy. If I learned nothing from the rape of the Steubenville, Ohio teen; I learned that far too many people think that when a woman is drunk or high…that consent is implied, even if she is unable to say no.

 

To the young men and women who answered “yes”; by responding that it was okay for a man to force a woman to have sex if:

1. He spends a lot of money on her

2. He is so turned on he doesn’t think he can stop

3. She is drunk or stoned

4. She has had sex with others

5. They have dated for a long time

6. She wanted to, but then changed her mind

 

Allow me to share something with you, rape cannot be changed. Rape is not one moment on a random day/night; rape lasts your entire life. You never forget the feeling of degradation. You never forget the questions that your mind poses, that will never have an answer. Rape is far reaching…no matter what anyone says.

 

Anytime someone tells you that rape isn’t THAT bad…they are lying. It destroys lives and can permanently destroy the hearts and souls of men and women.

 

As parents, it is our responsibility to arm our children with the knowledge of love. Respect must be taught…through observation. Our children are watching what we say, do and respond to; our speech must be kind and loving. Keep in mind, we teach our children callousness.

 

As for these young women, who also participated in this “poll”?

Love yourselves. No one has the right to force sex on you. Respect your body and your decisions; do what is right for you. You do not owe anyone anything; your body is sacred.

 

We need to change the rules, so we can change our frame of mind. If she/he does not say YES…the answer is no. If she/he says yes, then changes his/her mind…the answer is no. Paying for a meal, present or any other such thing…does NOT purchase him/her sexually. If you are so turned on that you don’t think you can stop…don’t even start. NO matter how long you have known him and no matter what your relationship is…it is always your decision to make.

 

We must do better. We are assisting in the demise of these young souls, by sitting in silence. We must take a pro-active role in the lives of these young people, who are our future. Rape is not a phase that someone goes through…it is a felony.

 

Remember my friends, rape is a crime that destroys. Talk to your sons and daughters; do not make excuses, like those made for the rapists in the Jane Doe case in Ohio. Stop placing the victim on trial, when we do this…we are embracing the sexual predator.

 

While no one wants to think their child is a predator, when we sweep such behavior under the rug…we are breeding it.

 

Love one another…and please…please stop the insanity.

 

 

Reflecting

Reflecting

Be nice to your elders

Open their doors

No if’s and’s or buts

Don’t make me tell you anymore

Play nice with your friends

Stop calling her names

Look, you made her cry

You should be ashamed

Stop, we don’t hit

Use your indoor voice

I don’t want to spank you

But you’re giving me no choice

Where did you hear such a word

Go to time out

I can’t believe the words

That came from your mouth

Do not tell a lie

Always speak the truth

Be a good girl and boy

What is the use?

If I get one more call

From a teacher from school

Telling about how you

Continually break the rules

Where did you ever learn

To be so obscene

What? From me?

What do you mean

Mom…dad…

We are old enough to view

The things that you say

And the things that you do

I hear you gossip

About the lady in town

Who talks to herself

After her little boy drowned

I hear you say bad words

To people when we’re in the car

Saying …go back to your country

While picking dad up at the bar

I’m not sure what gay is

But one night when I was in bed

I heard you say they were

Better off dead

Once you said the “N” word

It shook my insides

It was after you told me

I had to be nice

I love you both

You know it’s true

But is it my fault

If I’m just like you?

As for the girl that I hit

Real hard on the arm

Dad, you remember

Like the way you hit mom

At that moment

My mother did cry

What have we done

How… why

Why do we blame our children

For the things that they say

When they hear us say similar things

Everyday

Do as I say and not as I do

Can corrupt our youth

Shouldn’t we check ourselves

Start looking for the TRUTH

Children are not little adults

They are our path of love

It is our job to protect and guide

These gifts from above

When you next point a finger at a child

While judgmentally shaking your head

Perhaps you should glance at a mirror

At yourself instead

For God’s law says love

While man’s law says hate

Let’s reap what we sow

Before it’s too late

**IN trying to do our part we are donating a portion of the proceeds of our book “The Light of Our Path” to the Atlanta Children’s Shelter, Inc.**

Greater Than She Would Mention

Greater Than She Would Mention

You see her everyday

And yet she goes without attention

She moves ever diligently

No one even seems to mention

The sacrifices that she surrenders

The life strides that she makes

Her woes are gone unnoticed

She never will seek what we take

Often wearing a smile

So we never feel her pain

And tomorrow when we wake

She’ll do it all again

She is a beautiful warrior

And her armor is so divine

She is every woman we know

She ‘s your mother or mine

Our joy is her reward

And she wears it like a crown

Even if we seem ungrateful

And sometimes let her down

The passion found in her eyes

Is not about her own rewards

But the help she’s given others

And what they are striving towards

She’s our very own routing section

Our fan club president

Never complaining about what she doesn’t have

Or the time she has spent

On cheering us on

With our daily dreams

This undefeatable force

Who promises brighter things

She never lets us down

Unless she has no other way

She gives us hope for the future

Pushing us forward today

Unfortunate at times

                                                             We tend to take for granted her love

But she is vigilant still

Like our Father from above

So today when you have a moment

Make one is you must

To give thanks for the woman

The first you did trust

And tell her that you love her

And because of her your love will increase

To all the beautiful women in your life

And to all the people that you may meet

Never forget her sacrifice or the fact that she

Made it without regret or intention

Knowing the blessing of being your mother

Was greater than she would ever mention