Tag Archives: children

When Is Rape Okay

When Is Rape Okay

When Is Rape Okay

 

Yesterday I saw a post on Facebook. I went to the author’s website and found (just for clarification); that when these high school students were asked to answer the questions, it was on a rating scale 0-5. Zero equaled not agreeing at all, therefore symbolic of “NO”. Any rating over zero, would be counted as a “yes”. I just wanted that to be clear before I wrote this, although I don’t think that the number on the scale that each child chose, above zero matters. Allow me just this courtesy…RAPE IS WRONG.

 

This post had me thinking, past the lump I felt in my throat. I was disappointed in the fact that these young males felt this way; for any man to think it would ever be okay to force sex upon another.  What I found deeply disturbing was that any female would think this behavior was acceptable; why would we think that any situation would make this horrible and vile act appropriate?

 

Beyond talking to our children about the dangers of strangers; what do we teach them? Do we teach our sons that it is NEVER okay to force anyone to have sex? Or do we think that the logic is implied? At this point, we can effectively come to the conclusion that it is not. Where are our daughters getting their education from? Why would anyone of our young women think that she has no say over her body? Where is the self-respect and honor? Where would our sons develop the mentality that they EVER have the right to force sex on another person?

 

This posting had my heart feeling heavy. If I learned nothing from the rape of the Steubenville, Ohio teen; I learned that far too many people think that when a woman is drunk or high…that consent is implied, even if she is unable to say no.

 

To the young men and women who answered “yes”; by responding that it was okay for a man to force a woman to have sex if:

1. He spends a lot of money on her

2. He is so turned on he doesn’t think he can stop

3. She is drunk or stoned

4. She has had sex with others

5. They have dated for a long time

6. She wanted to, but then changed her mind

 

Allow me to share something with you, rape cannot be changed. Rape is not one moment on a random day/night; rape lasts your entire life. You never forget the feeling of degradation. You never forget the questions that your mind poses, that will never have an answer. Rape is far reaching…no matter what anyone says.

 

Anytime someone tells you that rape isn’t THAT bad…they are lying. It destroys lives and can permanently destroy the hearts and souls of men and women.

 

As parents, it is our responsibility to arm our children with the knowledge of love. Respect must be taught…through observation. Our children are watching what we say, do and respond to; our speech must be kind and loving. Keep in mind, we teach our children callousness.

 

As for these young women, who also participated in this “poll”?

Love yourselves. No one has the right to force sex on you. Respect your body and your decisions; do what is right for you. You do not owe anyone anything; your body is sacred.

 

We need to change the rules, so we can change our frame of mind. If she/he does not say YES…the answer is no. If she/he says yes, then changes his/her mind…the answer is no. Paying for a meal, present or any other such thing…does NOT purchase him/her sexually. If you are so turned on that you don’t think you can stop…don’t even start. NO matter how long you have known him and no matter what your relationship is…it is always your decision to make.

 

We must do better. We are assisting in the demise of these young souls, by sitting in silence. We must take a pro-active role in the lives of these young people, who are our future. Rape is not a phase that someone goes through…it is a felony.

 

Remember my friends, rape is a crime that destroys. Talk to your sons and daughters; do not make excuses, like those made for the rapists in the Jane Doe case in Ohio. Stop placing the victim on trial, when we do this…we are embracing the sexual predator.

 

While no one wants to think their child is a predator, when we sweep such behavior under the rug…we are breeding it.

 

Love one another…and please…please stop the insanity.

 

 

Daddy Don’t Go

Daddy Don’t Go

 

Daddy don’t go

The girl softly cried

I’m coming back

Just another lie

I wonder if he knew

The choices he did make

Would damage a life

A heart he did break

If he had only looked back

Seen that last tear fall

He could have righted a wrong

In no time at all

Maybe if he had been there

She wouldn’t have needed

The attention negative or not

Which abandonment breeded

Her mom was there yes, but

Who can really say

What would have happened

Had he not left that day

Our daughters are precious

We must try and understand

Their fathers help create

Their future’s floor plan

For Daddy when you leave

Someone else will step in

And since you weren’t there

No telling how it will end

Are you responsible for others…no

But from the very start

You were supposed to be there for her

And that fragile little heart

When you stepped out on mom

You walked away from this sweet girl

Who loved you every single day

You were her entire world

So when she now makes choices

As we sometimes tend to do

Remember her greatest teacher

Was supposed to be you

Don’t make this love story

End before it starts

Cause saying “Daddy don’t go”

Even breaks a woman’s heart

 

Past The Stars

PAST THE STARS

See the young heart
Who cries within himself
Such pain he has known
More than we have ever felt

He cries to us daily
Seeking protection in our eyes
He has known true torture
More than we may realize

This bruised little heart
Just trying to understand
What he has done wrong
Is this his life long plan

We know he is looking
For us to make it clear
Yet we go about our day
As if he is not even here

We make poor excuses
As to why we walk on by
We may feel  sorrowful inside
But we never stop and ask why

Someone will help him
Someone else will come along
But another funeral is planned
I guess someone was wrong

Another tiny little casket
Another child of God denied
I wonder why only in death
Do we stop making alibis

I couldn’t do this
I couldn’t do that
I didn’t really know him
How callous we do act

You didn’t need his name
His presence was our test
So even if we make excuses
We still failed to do our best

How long does a call take
911 is not that hard
We all noticed the bruising
But he suffered  worse scars

Such as the scar on his heart
Which never got to heal
His tender sweet soul
And the pain it did feel

The gift of his existence
May be little more than a smile
Something to give him hope
For he hadn’t known it for a while

So reach out your arms
Stop silently nodding your head
Stop the funerals of the young
Build playgrounds for them instead

For it only takes a step
Although at times it’s hard
To appreciate the gift of life
From our Father past the stars

The Best Man

The Best Man

If you can not imagine it forever
Do not lay beside  her now
If you really do love her
Wait…love her out loud

Babies are true blessings
Not mistakes to be made
Walk away before conception
If you dont love her enough to stay

Don’t allow a night of passion
Become the worst night in your life
When you thought of her as a thing
Not material for a wife

Respect her with your actions
Respect her with your tongue
She is somebody’s little girl
Not a prize to be won

Too young to be called Daddy
Then stop trying to play house
Make the decision of a man
Not the sounds of a mouse

We have all heard those sounds
Noises so loud and strong
You would swear that the tiny mouse
Was fifteen feet long

So don’t be all talk about
The man that you can be
Because when you walk out
You become a parody

A joke within the family
A boy in men’s clothing
A father who didn’t care
An object of loathing

So tonight before the sweet talk
Take a long look ahead
Make sure its really love
Not something lustful instead

Give your life a second glance
Develop a success theory
Make a future full of hope
Not one which is too dreary

Be the man you really are
Make babies when you’re grown
So when your child speaks of you
Your the best man they’ve ever known

If Not Now

If Not Now

 

Someone I love once told me; we all want to try and get a different outcome from the same problem. Realistically we understand that using the same solution over and over again will not bring about a different outcome.

So why don’t we do something different I asked; and she said because we are afraid of change. Even though she and I were talking about something more personal, in content, that statement is true of all situations.

I believe, in my heart, that we are all good people. Why then, do we sit back and watch the travesties in our world occur and not step in? Why do we sit back and hear the literal cries and screams of our next door neighbors, fall on deaf ears? We may not know exactly know what is going on in that house, but wouldn’t it be better to be wrong than to be silent…and wake up to a news report about a domestic violence situation that became deadly? Wouldn’t you rather someone care enough about your children or grandchildren, that they would risk being wrong?

I understand, we don’t want to get involved. The fear of confrontation can be chaotic, at times. The first step can be the loneliest. The first step of any endeavor can be frightening; it could be poorly received, or unwelcome. But wouldn’t it be better to take that risk, as opposed to sitting in silence when someone could be being beaten…right next door?

We have children in this country who are viciously and maliciously abused…everyday. These children are not savagely beaten by strangers; a recent study shows that 79.4% of the abused children in our country are abused and often killed by their parents.

Now I ask again; why shouldn’t we make a change? If we are worried and concerned about how we will be received by people if we say something…what happens to those innocent children?

I watched a show on television one day; the show simulated an actress playing a “babysitter”, and she was verbally abusive to a child about 6 or 7 years old. The purpose of this exercise was to see how people would react to this behavior, in social situations. I must say I was rather shocked, as grown men, even though disturbed by the “babysitter’s” behavior…said absolutely nothing to her. When asked later about why they said nothing; they simply said they kept waiting for someone else to speak up and when no one did, they decided not to say anything either.

This was a sad representation of what we have become. Understandably, we don’t want to get involved…but if not us…then who? If we do not speak up on behalf of the child obviously being spoken abusively too, or being battered and neglected…who will?

I know this probably seems like I am laying a lot on you…and truthfully I am. But I am saying this not only to make you think, but to show you that your heart is speaking to you…we must start listening.

We are losing our children to the hands of haste and hate. Change can be frightening, because it is new; but that does not mean that it is bad. Everything had to begin somewhere; someone had to take that first step. We can not continue to crawl through life as if we are going to get anywhere, except across the living room floor.

This is not the life that we are supposed to be living…I promise you. God is watching us…it is all a great test. Every decision that you make today, tonight and tomorrow; is being reviewed. Our humanity is being tested, every time we encounter people.

How would you want the world to treat you or someone that you love? Would you rather it walked passed hurriedly; or perhaps you would rather it walked slow enough to stop and ask the important questions? Are you okay? Is there someone you would like me to call? Humanity is easy…we are making it too hard.

Love one another…shine God’s light…that is our true purpose.

If you do not make the change that you want to see in this world…than who will? If not now…when?

Instead

Instead

We justify the violence

We justify the hatred

We justify why it is

Okay that he is dead

You needed more updated pictures

Showing all his tattoos

Would that make a difference

If you were in his mother’s shoes?

Would you want someone to tell you

What vision the media could post

When you are talking about the one

That you loved the most

Would you think it fair when

Everyone gets to decide

If you deserved it

The night YOUR son died

Or would you look for compassion

While your heart is breaking

Yet ducking and diving from

All the criticism you are taking

Not a good mother?

Oh…lest not ye judge

On the matter of love

I will not budge

Her son died…point blank

She is stronger than most

And stands up…head high

With all the hate you post

When will we truly realize

Who are supposed to be

And stop imposing on others

Our false reality

We should be uplifting our brothers

Stop literally shooting them down

Then there would be no need

For “standing your ground”

If we all listened as children

When being told what was right

There would be nothing to fear

During the day or the night

God He walks with us

Stop finding reason to hate

Start looking for similarities

How we can relate

We are really one big family

Who is going to war

Forgetting God’s love

What we were brought here for

So I bid you one last thought

Before you lay down your head

Let’s stop attacking mankind

Build God’s bridges instead

Love’s Ingredients

Love’s Ingredients

How carelessly we talk

Saying the first things on our tongue

We talk about the people on the street

Their homes, jobs even their young

We thoughtlessly cast our ideas

Out into the mid air

As if our opinions were made true

By throwing it out there

We talk about other races

Talk about religions worldwide

Is this hate or just ignorance

I simply can’t decide

We talk amongst ourselves

Gossip destroying the hope of man

WE know we shouldn’t…yet still do

Should stop…but not sure we can

Our words can feel like razors

Sharp and hard to heal

It’s not hopes they are given

But they dreams that people steal

We kidnap the light from man

Throw water on his fire

Until he forgets his path

His hearts true desire

We walk around in darkness so long

It seems bright enough

Waking up from that fallacy

Now that one can be tough

For the problem with this disease…hate

Is we’ve been feeding it so long

We have forgotten how to do right

And are inclined to do wrong

I really don’t mind reminding you

Emit the love God passed out

It mends fences…builds bridges

Of that there is no doubt

Start smiling every single day

Even if they look at you odd

Remember you’ve spent a lot of time

Trying to dim the light of God

So the backlash is deserving

You should have known better by now

But take one day at a time

You will do it somehow

Teach your children love through osmosis

Let the joy you have spread

Letting opportunities of hope

Fill inside their heads

We spend far too much time

Shaking our fists up high

Complaining about the choices

The ones we let slip by

Yes we did it…we failed ourselves

Even though we knew much better

It’s why I’m writing this down

Why I’m sending you a letter

Watch your speech and tones

Knowing when you do speak

It should be the equivalent

Of touching an angels cheek

So softly whisper unto God

I’m sorry for my disobedience

Mix it with love…sprinkle joy

All of love’s true ingredients