What Are You Going To Do?
I recently read an article; where a University Professor ALLEGEDLY, made some very shocking claims about rape. I am not going to mention his name…I do not know if he actually said these things or not…and if he did; may God grant him peace.
Rape; the word alone leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Those of us, who have been touched by this crime, directly or indirectly, understand the devastation that it leaves behind. I do, however think we have been taught and programmed to look at this crime in a way that leaves room for doubt.
We are taught, men and women alike, that if a woman says no…and she is forced to have sex…it is rape. I don’t think anyone can argue that point with any validity. Would the questionable lines be clearer, however if we were taught…even if she doesn’t say NO…unless she says YES…it is still RAPE.
We must remember rape is not a crime of sex…although we would be told or convinced otherwise. After all, there is sexual contact in rape…in one way or the other. But let me ask you a question…if someone hits me across the head with a baseball bat…does it become a sports crime? Rape is a violent crime…either physically or emotionally. When a person is raped…they are being ROBBED. The survivors of rape have had something very personal…STOLEN. If I didn’t give you something…and you helped yourself to it…you are committing an unlawful act.
This subject is deeply personal to me…and it should be just as personal to all of us. I was offended by the words this Educator used (ALLEGEDLY). It made me wonder, how many people think this way? He was quoted saying that if a woman has sex without her knowledge…and there is no physical violence; and she doesn’t remember the act…who really got hurt? I found this appalling…so I ask this question…
If you have a diamond ring, an heirloom, in your home; you keep it locked away safely, so you don’t check on it every day; then someone breaks into your home, while you are sleeping. There are no broken windows or locks and they didn’t disturb your sleep…so there were no outward signs of violence; yet they stole your grandmother’s antique ring…is that a crime? After all, you don’t remember the crime; you were asleep. There were no outside signs that it was stolen; but yet it was still taken from you…is it a crime?
My virtue…my body…is more valuable than a piece of jewelry. If I do not say YES…then it is rape.
While people, such as this educator, may make erroneous conclusions about something as serious as rape…let us not forget…they could be judging you…your daughter or son, your mother or grandmother. I ask that we stop disassociating ourselves from the survivors and victims of this most malicious crime.
Do you know how long it takes for most women/men to recover from this violation? FOREVER; it stays with you. You remember smells, words said, actions, pain…you remember feeling empty. Some degree of pain is inevitable, in this life; rape is not one of those.
Unfortunately when we have people who will continually try to discount, ridicule, and try the victim…we will be assaulting her/him over and over again. How many times will the victim/survivor be asked what she wore, why she went to a particular place, how many times did you say no, why were you drinking, and other such questions with far reaching implications.
How often do we ask the accused…why did you drink that night? Why were you out so late? What were you wearing? Why is this? We want to believe that no one is capable of such atrocities…but these things happen all the time.
The media focus on the Steubenville rape of Jane Doe; created a venue of opportunity. It is good that we are talking about this crime…but let us not forget…it took a social media venue to get this case prosecuted. We must speak out. We must stand up and scream…NO MORE! The life you save may be one that is precious to you.
And for those who may ask where our Creator is…in all this chaos; I can only reply…our Creator is watching. We are supposed to do what is right. Protect the innocent and remind one another that with love all things are possible. But forever remember…you may be the only life raft she is sent…what are you going to do?